Lessons From My Last Relationship I’ll Never Forget!....💔
Some relationships don’t end with a bang. They fade — like a song slowly turning down its volume, until only silence remains.
Mine was that kind of goodbye. Not violent. Not dramatic. But silently devastating.
And though I’ve left the relationship behind, the lessons… they’ve taken permanent residence in the quietest corners of my soul.
“Some people come into your life to teach you how not to be loved.” – Rupi Kaur
1. Love is not possession. It’s presence.
What I mistook for love was actually control dressed as attention. I confused being needed with being wanted. There's a difference between someone who wants to walk with you and someone who just doesn't want to walk alone.
True love doesn’t cage. It doesn’t clip your wings to keep you grounded. It cheers when you soar.
2. Red flags don’t turn green with time.
I ignored the subtle discomforts — the way they minimized my dreams, the way they spoke over me in conversations, the jokes that weren’t really jokes. I told myself they’ll change. But red flags don’t fade. They deepen.
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” – Maya Angelou
Denial is a seductive liar. I let it speak for me too often.
3. Compatibility isn’t chemistry.
We laughed. We connected. But we weren’t aligned. Our values clashed silently, like tectonic plates waiting to erupt. You can have incredible moments with someone and still not be meant to build a life with them.
Butterflies are beautiful — but they die in glass jars.
4. Silence can be the loudest answer.
I begged for clarity in spaces where there was none. Their silence was never empty — it was full of answers I didn’t want to hear. Sometimes, not replying is the reply.
“No response is a response. And it’s a powerful one.” – Unknown
Closure isn’t something they give you. It’s something you choose to take when your soul has had enough.
5. I learned what I deserve — by getting what I didn’t.
My heartbreak became my awakening. When someone doesn’t value you, they unintentionally teach you how to finally value yourself. I began setting boundaries not to keep people out, but to protect what I was finally beginning to build within.
I used to think love was sacrifice. Now I know — real love never asks you to sacrifice yourself.
6. Letting go isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.
I held on long after the goodbye was overdue — clinging to potential, rewriting memories, hoping to fix what wasn’t mine to fix. But you can’t water a dead plant and expect it to bloom again.
“The truth is, unless you let go… unless you forgive yourself… unless you forgive the situation… unless you realize the situation is over… you cannot move forward.” – Steve Maraboli
7. I am not hard to love.
This was perhaps the most liberating truth. I realized the problem wasn’t that I was too much — too emotional, too deep, too intense. It’s that I offered ocean love to someone who only knew how to sip from puddles.
The right person will never make you feel like you’re hard to love. They’ll see your depth and dive in without hesitation.
My last relationship broke me — not entirely, but enough to let the light in. And that light? It taught me who I am. What I need. And what I’ll never settle for again.
Because sometimes, heartbreak isn’t the end.
It’s the beginning of coming home — to yourself.
“Sometimes, you don’t get closure. You just get clarity.” – Unknown
With Love
Zara Monroe!..❤️
Buy me a coffee to fuel the next dive into life’s hidden truths.
Your support means the world and keeps the wisdom flowing.
Recommended Readings!
1. The Lies We Believe About Soulmates!...
Your pain has revealed profound wisdom, though I will repeat that you may have already heard, our deepest wounds often become our greatest teachers.
You've discovered freedom through spiritual love.
Most beautiful is your realization that you're not "too much", but you're magnificently whole, offering oceanic depth where others only wade in puddles.
This relationship hasn't diminished you, it has expanded your capacity for authentic love, beginning within.
Its a touching piece and I applaud your courage.
Thank you 🙏